Sarah Henderson

Anna

Hey

Hey, what’s up?

Nothing. What are you doing?

Anna, what’s wrong?

Nothing. What are you doing?

Anna.

Nothing.

Anna, you haven’t called in three weeks and it’s the middle of the night.

So last night I had to go to the hospital. But it wasn’t a big deal.

Anna, quit fucking around.

Really, it wasn’t a big deal. Like, so last night at work my stomach was hurting a lot, and so Leanne gave me some pepto. I didn’t have a cup, so I just drank it out of the bottle, but like, it didn’t stop hurting, so I had a little bit more and it still wasn’t getting any better. And so then Mike said to just have some bread, but then Barrie told me to get back to work. So I did, but then I started to get sick and Mike brought me something to drink and so I drank it. But like, it wasn’t getting any better, and so I just drank the rest of the pepto.

Anna, why would you drink the whole bottle?

I don’t know.

What did he bring you to drink?

Well, I think it was ginger ale, but like I said, no big deal.

Were you drinking at work?

No...Well, I mean, I didn’t know. But like, it didn’t matter, cause I had to go to the bathroom to puke and then like Barrie told me I needed to go home, and so like I was getting my stuff together and I kind of threw up on the floor. So then Mike and Leanne took me to the emergency room, and then the doctor told me I was pregnant.

------

The shitty thing is, I don’t even like Cleve. He’s just this bum. But it doesn’t matter, really, because while we were sitting in the waiting room, I started bleeding, and so the doctor took me back and he told me that I wasn’t pregnant any more. So that’s why I called. But I have to go now, I’m late for work.

Anna, wait.

I love you, MMWAH.

Anna?...Fuck.





Hello?

Sam?

Anna?

Yeah. It’s me. Are you awake?

Anna it’s fucking 4 in the morning.

I know, sorry, I love you. MMWAH.

Wait, what’s going on?

You’re asleep, it’s fine, just forget I called.

No, sorry, I’m awake, tell me.

It’s nothing really.

I wish you wouldn’t say that. I won’t get mad, I haven’t gotten mad, please just tell me. I love you kid. You’re stuck with me ok?

I’m just drunk and tired and I want to come home.

Anna don’t cry.

I hate this. I hate living. I just want to die. Do you ever think that? Do you ever think it’d just be easier if I just died? You’d be happy. Mom would like shit a brick. Dude, I should just die. Someone should arrange it. I wasn’t meant to be here.

I love you, and I’d miss you if you died. You know? Who else would wake me up in the middle of the night?

Fuck you Sam.

Anna, seriously, you’re drunk. Everything will be better in the morning. Hun, just stop crying, if you want to come home, you can.

I can’t.

Why not?

I have to work.

You can get another job.

I can’t leave Cleve.

Anna...................can we talk about this tomorrow?

It is tomorrow.

I have to be at work in like three hours, Anna please.

Fine. Sorry I’ve ruined your life. Bye.

Anna, wait. I’m just tired. You aren’t ruining anyone’s life.

Yeah. I know. Whatever. Love you, bye.

Seriously, we can talk about this. I’m sorry.

Bye.

Anna?






Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

Anna, it’s me, please don’t be mad. I’m sorry, I was just tired. Please call me back ok hun? I love you.




Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

It’s me again. Hun, I’m sorry, really, I was a jerk and a bad sister, please just call me back, I’m worried about you.




Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

Anna...quit fucking around, it’s been like three days, just call me back, please hun? I’m really sorry. Just let me know you’re alive? I know I was a jerk, but you know I’m not nice. I love you kid. MMWAH.






Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

Anna, I’m sorry. Please hun.






Sam?

Anna? Where have you been, I’ve called you like a million times.

I’ve just been working, why are you so upset?

I mean, you call me at like 4 in the morning, talk about wanting to die, and then don’t call me back for a week...I’ve left ten thousand messages.
I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t call you, and why would I want to die? You’re fucking crazy Sam.

Don’t lie.

I’m not, don’t be a bitch.

Anna, you were drunk, you might not remember. Anyway, it’s not important, I’m just glad you’re ok. Can we talk?

Talk about what?

The hospital, the baby?

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Anna? Are you ok? Please talk to me about this.

Listen, I have to get back to work, Barrie’s been on my ass. I’ve got two two tops and a 7 topper, so I got to go. I love you.

I love you. I do. I mean it.

Yeah. I got it. Quit being stupid.





What up doe?

Doe? What the heck does that mean?

Shut up stupid, it’s like what up dog.

Since when have you said stuff like that?

Shut up.

Whatever.

What’s going on?

Nothing, I’m on my way to work. You know I have no life.

You’re a dork.

I know.

I talked to Ash. She might come down here.

Really? Why can’t y’all ever come see me?

Y’all? That’s fucking why...you’re a stupid southerner now.

Oh, and what up doe? That’s better? At least I’m not some trashy beach bum.

Shut up.
You’re flat as a board.

You’ve got watermelons on your chest.

Anna?

Don’t.

K.

I love you.

Love you too.






Hey babe.

Sam?

Who else?

I hate Cleve.

Hun.

No, shut up. I hate him.

Why?

I broke up with him last week and he was all butt-hurt about it. So like I was at work and he was standing outside for four hours and I had to get Mike and Barrie to walk me out, and Barrie was all like “Anna, you know it doesn’t look good for business when Cleve’s hanging around outside. I need you to seriously rethink your commitment to this company.” Dumb ass, it’s a fucking restaurant. Who the hell cares? I can’t stand him.

Barrie?

No, Cleve. Well, I hate Barrie too. But Cleve, why can’t he get over it. I mean, dude, I have love handles, why the hell is he that interested? LOVE HANDLES. He’s always going on an on about how beautiful I am and how he can’t live without me, I mean, Sam, come on...he’s a douche. Lame. He’s alive right now. Walking around, breathing, just fine. Eccch. It’s just gross. He can’t like me that much.

You are pretty fantastic.

Why are you always so damn stupid?

Someone has to be.

Well, you’re really good at it.

I know. I’m sorry he’s a jerk. So is this break-up permanent? Or are you going to get back together tomorrow?

Wow, you’re stupid and an ass.
Anna, come on, I’m just asking if you broke up because of a fight, or like serious long term consequences.

Long term consequences? Wow Sam........No like, he’s just pathetic. I got sick of him mooning over me all the time. It’s pointless, I don’t get why he’s always telling me he loves me and shit, but then like, I tried to hold his hand the other day in the car, and he like totally blew me off. Two faced bastard.

Are you ok?

Yeah. I mean, I’m not sitting on the couch eating Ben and Jerry’s, watching The Notebook and crying. I mean, I’m eating the Ben and Jerry’s, but only because it’s tasty. I like food.

Ok kid. If you need anything. I mean anything, just call. I promise I’ll stop being an ass.

I don’t think that’s possible.

You’re probably right. But I’m serious.

Thanks. Love you.

Love you too.








Hey.

Hey.

Do you remember when we were kids?

Um, yeah...

When mom took us to the mall to buy Christmas presents? Josh went with daddy to go get that stupid puzzle with his face on it? Mom wanted us to go get socks. Fucking socks for Christmas. And then I had to pee and you had to take me to the bathroom? And then Ash ran off to look at some shoes so Mom took off to go catch her? And then we came out and they were gone?

Socks aren’t so bad.

Do you remember?

Yeah, I remember. You started crying and I told you to shut up and you wouldn’t, so I hit you and then the security guys came up and told me to be nice to you and you told them that I had made Mom go away. I remember.

Ok...Just checking.

Anna?

Bye.




This is Sam, sorry I’ve missed your call, please leave a message.

You need to get a better message, you sound so fucking proper. Why do you always have to be so damn nerdy? You embarrass me. So I was thinking, what the fuck? A puzzle of himself. That’s what he gave her for Christmas. I hate her. You know that? I hate Mom. She yelled at me today. Yelled. On the fucking phone. She can’t even use the damn thing and she’s yelling at me on it. She told me he’s a loser. Why? He didn’t do anything to her? He’s not a bum, I just said that cause I was upset. I mean, she doesn’t know does she? Did you fucking tell her Sam? You did didn’t you? You fuck. I hate you. Traitor. Fucking bitch, you’re just like her.




This is Sam, sorry I’ve missed your call, please leave a message.
It’s me. Sorry.





This is Sam, sorry I’ve missed your call, please leave a message.

It’s me. You know what, I’m not fucking sorry. You did tell her. Well guess what? I lied. I fucking made the whole thing up. I’m the only fucking sane one in this whole fucking family. Don’t call me ok?




Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

Anna. Please talk to me. I love you.





Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

Please. I love you.





Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

Anna, I can’t just keep calling you. I’ll just wait until you can talk. I didn’t say anything. I love you.





Sam?

Anna?
I’m getting married!!!!

Anna? What are you talking about? To who?

Um, to Cleve, who else? Why would you ask that? I’m getting married!

Um. Congratulations.

Why aren’t you happy for me?

I am, really. I mean, I am.

------

You haven’t called me for months Anna, and now you’re getting married? To Cleve? You don’t even like him. You’ve called me so many times: “Sam, I hate him, he’s just a bum.” “Sam, he won’t leave me alone, I broke up with him, and he just calls all the time, he sits outside Outback, waiting until I get off.” “Sam, I had to hide in Cleve’s closet cause his brother came home, I was in there for hours. Just sitting there, waiting for him to leave, and then he yelled at me because I was breathing too loud. But Tony didn’t even know I was there. I hate him.”

Sam why are you crying?

Shut up, just shut up.

I love him.

How? How can you love him.

I do. He’s my husband. I love him.

I can’t do this right now. Bye Anna.

Fine.




Hi.

Sam, just be happy for me.

How Anna? I don’t know what to think. You change your mind every day. I can’t base anything off of you. I’ve never met the guy. How can I like him? I can’t. I don’t. It’s been two years. Two years of you calling me every week with a different story. I’m tired.

Sam.

Don’t.

Sam......

Fine.

I love you.
Yeah.

------

Ok. I love you too.

Are you going to come.

......Yeah. When?

Oh my God, I’m so excited. Ok, I think next month. I think we’re just going to do it on the beach. Just us and you guys and his family. Mom’s coming. I don’t want to wear white though. I’d just look fat. I’m going to do orange ok? Like this really bright orange dress, like a silk strappy one. I got these heels, they’re like peep-toe stilettos, but I don’t know if I can walk around in the sand in them. Like, I’m already falling on my face all the time, I can’t walk in sand in heels right? Like I should wear flips right? Those orange ones you got me right?

Yeah. Those would work.

Why are you such a bitch?

I don’t know. Sorry.

Ok, well, get over it. I’ll call you later, you have to get something to wear ok? Something cute, not granny looking.

Ok.

Love you.

Love you too.






Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

I don’t know if I can do this. I mean, Anna, I’m scared. I don’t know what to think. You’re my baby sister. I just can’t think about you getting married, not to him at least. I shouldn’t be saying this. Not in a message. Shit, I don’t know. I can’t ever tell you what I think when I’m actually talking to you. Anna, you were pregnant. Is that why you’re doing this? I can’t believe that you love him. I don’t. I don’t believe it. Shit.







Hello?

May I please speak to Samantha Harper?

Who is this?

Ms. Harper? This is Dr. David Lenard from St. Mary’s Medical Center. I’m calling because Anna was in a car accident this morning.


What?

She was involved in an accident this morning, sometime around 4 am, it took us some time to find information on any relatives. Anna’s currently in critical condition, but we believe she’s somewhat stable. Unfortunately, I can’t give you any more details over the phone. Is there anyone who would be able to come to the hospital?

I um. I mean. I. Um. I don’t know. I.... Is she ok? What kind of accident? I mean, is she alive? Is she going to die?

Ma’am, I understand that you are upset, but to give you further details, I really need someone to come to the hospital. All I can tell you is that she’s in critical condition.

I live nine hours away. Shit.

Ma’am?

I just need to call someone...someone’s got to help me, I’ll be there. Just don’t let her die. Please. I can’t.

Ms. Harper, when you arrive at the hospital, please ask to speak to me, Dr. Lenard. I will be able to explain further when you get here. Thank you.

Thank you? THANK YOU?






Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

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Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

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Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

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Hey, this is Anna...I’m out, but probably won’t call you back, so leave a message.

Anna. I keep calling. Every time I hope you answer. I know you’re just laying there. You’ve been lying there for months. I keep paying your bill. Keep your phone charged. I still want you to answer, even if the damn thing’s in my pocket. Shit Anna. I don’t know if you heard it. I don’t know if you were mad at me. Are. Are mad at me. ............. Can you be mad? I don’t know, I know you’re alive, but are you? Nobody will tell me anything. They just say “wait,” “we don’t know,” “her brain has activity, she might be normal, she might not wake up, we just have to wait.” I’m tired of that. I just want you to wake up. I miss you Anna. .........He had no right. He had no right to do that. I hate Florida. You know that. I live here now. Work here now. I go see you everyday. Alone. I don’t know. Maybe they think it’s weird. They don’t come anymore. At least, not when I do. Not everyday. Mom comes. Josh doesn’t. He did. I don’t know. He couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t know why I’m saying that. I can’t take it anymore. No one can. I just keep drowning in it. I mean, I don’t know what to do. Everyone fucking says that. It’s so damn cliched. Just like they say “it’ll never happen to me.” This whole story is cliched. I don’t know how you loved him. How am I supposed to forgive him? He hit you Anna. Hit you. And now you’re there..... You loved him. Love him. I guess it doesn’t matter. Will you still? Can I ask you that? ....................... Ash is fine. I mean, considering. She’s going to Berkeley next year. She’s always been the good kid. We all miss you. I miss you. I’m trying to just laugh it all off. I’m not too good at it. I’m not too good at forgiving him either. I’m trying that too. I guess you did love him. In your own fucked up way. ........................ They told me to cut it off. Your phone I mean. I don’t want to. I won’t hear you anymore. They said it isn’t saying goodbye, you’re still here. Halfway. Everything’s halfway. I’m only halfway here. That’s why I’m going to. I’m sorry Anna. I’m not giving up. I just can’t be half of anything anymore. I need to be something, I just don’t know what. Don’t give up Anna. Don’t. Come back. No one’s told me I’m an ass in forever. My head’s getting really big without you. I love you. Really, I do.